There had always been a loathsome odor that seeped into the town of Sump. Some people said it came from the graveyard, which was flooded with warm, fetid water from the nuclear plant; others said it was from the nuclear plant. Every year new theories bubbled up, like fumes from the soil.
“I think it’s from the open-air fish market!”
“No! The smell comes from the cattle yard!”
“Or the rendering plant!”
“The maraschino cherry factory!”
With no definitive evidence to support their theories, the people of Sump just continued burning incense and pressing nosegays to their nostrils day in and day out. But when tourism dried up, and not even the Industrial Pump Museum could revive it, people panicked.
The citizens pooled their money together. With it, they ordered a bowl from giantglassbowls.com, and filled it with a thousand tons of the strongest-smelling, bulk potpourri that they could afford.
Filed under Funny, Strange
Syphilis Bay was nestled between steep cliffs that kept it extremely isolated. It was a beautiful place, but it was desperately poor. Few villagers cultivated the soil, and those that did could not sell their crops.
“If only we had some fresh blood.” The residents commiserated. “If only there was some way to entice people to settle here!”
A campaign was launched, including newspaper advertisements, to encourage emigration. But after a few months with no improvement, the citizens met again to discuss other options.
“What do you suppose is the problem?”
“Suppose we change our name?”
“But that’s been the name since sailors founded this town long ago!”
Despite the villagers’ reluctance, it was agreed that something needed to happen. They voted to change their name to Syphilis Lagoon. Soon afterwards, people were flocking to their shores, ready to work the land, and sleep with their surplus of lusty prostitutes.