Josiah was born on the city streets with a pork pie hat on his head and a song on his lips. He never knew a mother’s embrace, but he did know pickpocketing. He nicked enough to keep clothes on his back and bread in his mouth, and that was where his ambition ended.
One day Josiah spied a stranger working his neighborhood.
“This streets taken!” He knocked the trespasser into the slushy gutter.
“Didn’t see your name on it!” The urchin stood up, braided hair swinging over her shoulders.
“You’re a girl?”
“So what if I am?”
Josiah thought about all the cons a girl could help with: The Long-Armed Nanny, The Wailing Wench, and the near-impossible, Double Trouble Basket Switch.
“We should work together.” He suggested.
“In your dreams!” The girl laughed. She stuck out her tongue and ran off into the crowded streets, leaving Josiah disappointed and heartbroken.
Filed under Funny, Strange
Heavy was the burden that weighed on the tiny shoulders of Beatrice McKint. Her parents had both died of boredom before her sixth birthday, and she had inherited just twenty million dollars. The girls at Drake’s Academy and Heiress Depository teased her mercilessly.
“Is that a mink stole?” They would laugh. “Don’t let that mangy thing near my panda skin overcoat!”
Beatrice began to dream nightly that something terrible had happened to one of her schoolmates.
One night she dreamt that Hortense Jagersson was covered in boils, and when Beatrice awoke, Hortense was in the infirmary, not one inch of skin visible through the pus. Another night, she dreamt that Georgina DeChevallier’s hair had fallen out, and the next day Georgina got cancer.
The mysterious illnesses were investigated, and eventually linked to lead and asbestos poisoning. Drake’s Academy was forced to shut down, which gave Beatrice no end of glee.