Conditions were not ideal for the Junior Ornithologists’ Bird Watching Expedition and Nature Luncheon. Cold winds and stinging sleet kept most of the would-be ornithologists at home. Only those kids whose parents had been banking on a day of quiet were in attendance. After ponchos and binoculars were distributed, their leader Guffrey led the group onto the trail.
“Now, children,” Guffrey whispered. “If you see a bird, don’t shout! Instead, tap your neighbor on the shoulder and point. Then we can all enjoy the fun!” The children nodded grimly.
Guffrey was unpacking sandwiches around noon when someone tapped his shoulder.
“What is it?” He asked without looking. He felt another, more urgent, tap.
A looming shadow blotted out the sky. Guffrey glanced up in time to see an adult Roc go into a spectacular dive toward them.
“Kids look!” He pointed giddily, before his ribs were crushed by enormous talons.
Filed under Strange, Surreal
The VanVervelend twins, Alfons and Persephone, resided at opposite ends of their family’s estate, and had only met a handful of times. From infancy they had vehemently opposed sharing anything but their birth date, and therefore had been provided separate childhoods.
When the twins were old enough to begin squandering their trust funds, it occurred to each that they might have their first-ever joint birthday celebration. Persephone telephoned Alfons, but the lines were down in his wing, and she was forced to send a telegram.
BIRTHDAY PARTY IN BALLROOM FRI QUERY
That evening her answer arrived.
BUSY STOP PARTY ON LARGE TERRACE SAT QUERY
After telegraphing back and forth, the date was set for Sunday. Two enormous cakes were delivered, as well as 100 pounds of beluga, and 2000 servings of Oysters Rockefeller. Guests were so giddy with champagne, that no one even noticed Alfons and Persephone hadn’t bothered to attend.
Filed under Funny, Strange