Piles of human bones rained down onto Ariel’s head as she fell into the pit. One of her ankles gave out on impact and as she heard a tell-tale snapping sound, a wave of pain rolled over her. Gasping, Ariel grabbed a femur as a makeshift cane and tried to stand.
“You’ll never get away with this!” She bellowed at Professor Hinz, whose face just visible over the cusp of the pit.
“Please. We both know you can’t escape!” The Professor carefully dusted off his elbow patches. “I’ll claim you were tragically killed during a freak anthropological accident and keep all the glory for myself!”
Ariel was about to let loose a string of profanity that would make a corpse blush when she heard a shuffling sound nearby.
The Mummy staggered around the corner, wailing incoherently. Before he could scream it wrapped its bandaged hands firmly around Professor Hinz’s throat.
Nadia knew just one thing as the nurse passed the ultrasound over her exposed belly for yet another peek: this baby was not her’s. She knew it sounded crazy but she was quite sure that though the fetus was growing in her body, she was not the mother.
“Do you want to know the sex?” The nurse asked sweetly.
“That’s alright. I’ll find out soon enough.”
Back in her car, Nadia struggled to pull herself together. What was she going to tell her friends? Her family? She hadn’t been in a relationship for over a year and though the idea of Immaculate Conception occurred to her, it didn’t feel like that was the case.
She glanced down at her belly, which was just beginning to show.
“Whose baby are you?” She whispered.
Nadia froze. A voice was coming from inside her, muffled, but still audible.
“I am… not….… a baby….”
“Cinderella! Dressed in yella! Went upstairs to kiss her fella! Made a mistake and kissed a snake! HOW MANY DOCTORS WILL IT TAKE? One! Two! Three!…”
The chanting on the playground grew fainter as Gabbie wandered off the blacktop. She didn’t like the yelling or the whipping jump ropes. When she was alone Gabbie stopped to pick a dandelion.
“Wishing won’t get you anywhere!” A little boy was watching her. He had a bruised cheek and it looked like he’d been crying. “Take it from me. Every day I wish the other boys would leave me alone but they don’t.”
“Maybe you’ve just been wishing for the wrong things.” Gabbie twirled the globe of white seeds between her fingers and smiled. “I have an idea.” She grabbed the boy’s hand and whispered in his ear. “We’ll say it together, ok?”
“One… two… three… WE WISH EVERYONE BUT US WAS DEAD!”
When Myer walked into work and was detained at security on suspicions that he was a terrorist, he could tell it was not going to be a good day. Furthermore, it was a terrible day for him to have dynamite in his briefcase.
“This…looks bad.” Was all Myer could say as they popped open the case. He would have said more in his defense, but he was almost immediately cuffed and taken into police custody.
“Tell me, Myer, what made you think you could waltz into a government building with TNT on your person?” The lead detective asked. Myer shook his head.
“I’m not a terrorist! There’s…this girl.”
“And you thought that bringing in explosives was going to impress her?”
“No sir.” Myer mumbled. “She wouldn’t go out with me, so I was just going to blow her up…a little.”
“A little?” The detective snorted with laughter. “You’re alright, kid.”
After rummaging through the drawer Jay found the advil and popped a handful into his mouth, sucking off the candy coating and chewing them into powder. A passing coworker stared at him in disgust
“I had a few beers last night.” Jay mumbled through the ibuprofen crumbs. He looked bad; like a bored, over-tanned frat boy about the turn fifty. Which he was.
When he got back to his desk Jay found a small box waiting there. He peeked out over the cubical farm; there was no one in sight. Carefully, he untied the miniscule bow and opened the matchstick-sized box.
Inside was a human tooth. He gasped and the gruesome present dropped onto the tiles with a sickening clatter.
“This was supposed to over!” Jay whispered. He turned the box around and saw the telltale writing across the back:
Jay- It’s never going to be over. – The Tooth Fairy